Download e-book for kindle: A Year in the Merde by Stephen Clarke

By Stephen Clarke

ISBN-10: 1582346178

ISBN-13: 9781582346175

In response to Stephen Clarke's personal studies and with names replaced to "avoid embarrassment, attainable criminal motion, and to avoid the author's legs being damaged via anyone in a Yves Saint Laurent suit," A 12 months within the Merde provides excellent leisure for Francophiles and Francophobes alike.

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Example text

Peter’s attention returned to the gangway, which he saw was about to be hauled aboard. This was it, his chance to escape. He tensed his legs as he prepared for the dash to the wharf. ” He felt a hand grab his shirt from behind. ” It was James. “Not now,” whispered Peter. ” hissed Peter, pushing James from him. He looked around quickly and saw the girl staring at him. He looked back to where several sailors were preparing to haul up the gangway. Again Peter stiffened, ready to run for it. “Please,” James pleaded, weeping, his voice desperate.

Below, the crew had finished hog-tying the first man and had started on a second, also a portly fellow. He looked just as terrified, his cries muffled by a gag. Black Stache smiled. He loved other people’s misery. ” Preston and Harbuckle were both very good sailors, and Black Stache seemed to be preparing to toss them overboard for no good reason. Black Stache spat a gob onto Smee’s bare foot. ” “I mean without cheating,” said Black Stache. ” Smee said, shocked. Black Stache always cheated. “Not this time,” said Black Stache.

No. ” said Peter. “It wasn’t just any snake,” said Molly. ” Both Molly and Peter held up three fingers this time. ” Peter said. “Yes, said Molly. “Somehow”—she arched her eyebrows knowingly—“the snake got loose in the father’s bedroom while he was sleeping. They say the son wasn’t a bit upset—didn’t even seem surprised—when it ate his father. ” asked little James, speaking up for the first time. ” asked Molly. “He’s James,” said Peter. ” repeated James. ” “Pigs, mostly,” said Molly. ” interrupted Mrs.

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A Year in the Merde by Stephen Clarke

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